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This is a huge obstacle in allowing you to enjoy your world with "response-ability" which he defines as the freedom to react and respond to your world however you would like. Your Gremlin convinces you that you're not capable, you can't achieve, you shouldn't because you will fail, and he will trap you into settling for predictable but unsatisfying responses by using "should", "ought" and "must" commands. He's a little monster, or she, because a Gremlin can be any sex.

Rick Carlson is an imaginative and skilled writer who entertains us while he deftly explains how to effectively deal with our inner conflicts and fear of change in his many Taming Your Gremlin books and CD's. He has identified and personified the Gremlin and gives us practical tools to tame this irritating, destructive little creature who lives in all of us, to one degree or another.

Change is challenging and scary for most people but necessary to ensure a happy, satisfying and fulfilling life , reaching our potential in whatever we chose to do.

Gremlins do their dirty work in blended families too. Here a few Step-Gremlin scenarios that may resonate with you: you recognize you need to make a change in your co-parenting plan because you've noticed the lack of structure at your ex spouse's house is causing problems with your teenage son. Your Gremlin will tell you, " leave it alone" " don't rock the boat" "you should let them work it out". The Gremlin wins when you do nothing and then feel regret when your son suffers from a conflicting parent style.

You have a Gremlin yelling at you when you fail to speak up about financial problems with your new husband. You may have been the fiscally responsible single mother of three who took care of your budget and never got into debt. Now you're married to a man who wants to be the head of household in charge of finances. But he's a spendthrift and he's scaring you to death.

Your Gremlin will tell you "You ought not to worry" "You can't insult his manhood by taking away the checkbook" or "You must trust your husband". The stress of financial problems causes serious resentment in a relationship but your Gremlin doesn't care. Dealing with boundary issues is a playground for the Gremlins in blended families.

Because your Gremlin has been with you since birth he knows your past experiences and skillfully defines and interprets them to lull you into self limiting responses and unfulfilling decisions which are generally made by default.

Rick carefully makes the important distinctions: your Gremlin is not your negative thoughts... he is the source of them and he's not your fears. He uses them to scare you into believing that you will fail.

Action Step

How do we tame this inner life force that appears to have omnipotent power over us? The simple answer is "Simply Notice" which means paying attention rather than fighting this thing with over analysis, examination, reasoning or deep questioning.

The counter intuitive simplicity is what makes Taming Your Gremlin such an effective tool in coming to terms with negative self talk that holds us back in so many areas of life.

Next, Rick recommends "Choosing and Playing with Options" and "Being in Process" as effective strategies that make change a fun and enjoyable game with heightened awareness and control.

Resources

There's so much more to learn about Taming Your Gremlin!
We at Blended-Families.com encourage you to pic up Rick's book either at the local library or online.

Sometimes it's hard to identify the Gremlin on your own, although you know it's in there talking up a storm while you're trying to do the complex balancing act of running a blended family with its multiple issues and challenges.

A tried and true Gremlin-buster is having a Blended Family coaching session with one of our expert coaches. We can help you identify the Gremlin of the moment and help you tame it in an expedient, effective way.