THE SECRETS OF HAPPILY MARRIED MEN
- A Book Review -

Could it be that our media has sold us up the river in terms of portraying families, relationships, men and women in such shallow and thoughtless ways that we are actually reaping negative effects in our relationships and marriages all over again?

We already know what the Brady Bunch portrayal did for creating the myths around blended families. And now Dr. Scott Haltzman is suggesting that the stereotypical way in which men (and women) are being portrayed as husbands and wives on television sitcoms, is actually cementing the belief that men are completely inept in the relationship department.  How can this be good for men, for women, relationships or families in general? 

Haltzman, in his book The Secrets of Happily Married Men, discusses the varied reasons behind relationship dissatisfaction and breakdown, and focuses in on how men are portrayed and described as relationships buffoons who couldn’t get it right to save their lives.  This stereotype does nothing to promote good relationships. 

1.) It doesn’t raise the bar for men to see the ways in which they CAN contribute to healthy relationships with their partners – in fact it almost gives them the idea that it is impossible for them to succeed (so why even try?), and

2.) It gives women the idea that the men in their lives simply can’t contribute to relationships in a meaningful way, creating what they perceive as a one-sided partnership that leaves them feeling unfulfilled. 

It also gives the distinct impression that men cannot function adequately in the relationships department so even the contributions that they can and do make are not recognized because they are so different from what everyone has decided to expect of them. 

One can only hope that somewhere between the excessively romantic portrayal of men in some modern-day movies that hold them to an almost impossible standard, and the comic version of the blubbering relationship idiot in any number of family sitcoms, are real men who can and do want to be successful in relationships with their partners. Haltzman contends that this is entirely possible but it begins with men recognizing who they are and what they have to contribute, not simply becoming someone they are not, or giving up entirely because they are told that they “can’t do relationships”.

Dr. Haltzman’s book offers men the challenge to be the best men they can be in relationship with their partners and that is an important challenge for all of us to take seriously – men and women alike.

Resources

There's so much more to learn about Secrets of Happily Married Men!
We at Blended-Families.com encourage you to pick up Dr Haltzman's book either at the local library or online.

Happiness is having a Blended Family coaching session with one of our expert coaches.