Helping Children Cope
with Economic Insecurity
and Anxiety.

The economic doom and gloom is all around us; on television and radio news 24/7 and in day to day conversations as so many people's lives are severely impacted by unemployment, job insecurity, foreclosure and financial worries that few are able to escape.

Many adults feel anxious and powerless about overwhelming complexity of these challenging times, and an added stressor is helping kids understand what's going on without increasing their anxiety and confusion.

An important role of parenting is helping kids mature and develop, while protecting them from adult issues and problems until they are emotionally and intellectually ready to handle them. Unfortunately, the current economic crisis has hurt many families in very real ways that directly affect the kids; there may be a lot less money available, there may have been an unexpected move, and there may be more arguing and fighting about money and jobs.

And in blended families, there may be increased anxiety as kids see both biological parents struggling to make ends meet. Kids are curious and they also mirror attitudes and feelings expressed by their parents, so it's important to talk to them and let them know what's happening, especially if you sense they are unusually anxious or withdrawn.

Action Steps

1. Be Clear and Assuring. Kids of all ages feel more secure hearing an explanation about stressful and challenging situations from their parents. It is better to hear it from their parents rather than listening to exaggerated accounts from other people or imagining the worst because they have overheard arguments, snippets of conversations or horror stories on the news or from friends on the school bus.

Tailor explanations according to age and maturity and let the kids' questions be a guide to their concerns; ask them what they've heard and what they're concerned about. Obviously a seven year old requires less information than a highschooler, but kids of all ages need to be assured that even though times are tough and money is tight, you are doing your best to make it better, just like so many other families.

2. Acknowledge their feelings that might include confusion, anxiety, fear and anger, and assure them that they will be fine because you're going to pull together as a family. Keep an open dialog so the kids can continue to ask questions and you can supply them with facts and explanations and minimize them stressing over baseless rumors.

3. Make kids part of the solution by asking how they can help the family cut back. Schedule a family budget meeting where you prioritize spending and engage everyone is brainstorming ways to save...clipping coupons, recycling clothes, toys and electronic equipment, bartering services and any other creative ways of cutting back.

Kids, like adults, feel more secure and in control when there is a plan in place with goals to achieve. This also strengthens the belief that you are working as a team and everybody's contribution is valued.

4. Kids take emotional cues from their parents and have exceptional radar for detecting tension and anxiety, so minimize arguing and fighting in front of the kids. Parents fighting more negatively affect kids than the problems that cause the parental conflict.

5.Maintain a regular schedule for kids of all ages with a routine for dinner, homework, bath/shower, and bedtime; the more chaos and uncertainty around them, the more kids need the structure of a dependable schedule. The co parent should also follow a schedule so that it's consistent between the two homes.

6. Pull together as a family and inspire confidence and reassurance in the kids with regular family meetings, family dinners where everyone contributes, working the new budget together, depending on each other for help and cooperation, and changing how you value success and happiness as a family.