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It’s that season again when excited college seniors and proud parents attend the right of passage that is college graduation. The next step should be just as exciting as the graduate enters the adult world of work and family and financial independence. However, according to Peter Vogt of MonsterTRAK, nearly half of this year’s college graduate surveyed said they planned to move back home after receiving their diplomas. Even more discouraging, 42% of 2006 graduates surveyed reported that they were still living at home after a couple of years.
The reasons for this are no surprise. Given the current depressed economy with high gas prices, expensive rents and escalating food and utility costs. Additionally, the average college graduate leaves college with not only a diploma but also with $ 20,000 of college debt and an average of $5,000 credit card debt. Many graduates have known their option but to move home to save money on rent, food and utilities while paying back debt while saving for an apartment. There are potential downside of this for everyone. Not least of which is that the adult child when treated like a dependent minor finds the comfort of home way too cushy to leave. And why not when bills are paid, laundry services available and meals are prepared.
These unrealistic living arrangements can sometimes stifle drive the motivation resulting in an extended childhood experience that has no end point. In blended families, there may be more than one returning graduate. Further straining family living space and budget.
How can parents make this experience productive for the graduate and time limited for the parents who want to see their adult child move ahead into mature, independent living. Following some guidelines for returning graduates and their parents to help spell out expectations and develop a plan for the graduate to transition into independent adult living.
You can move back as temporary and talk positively about the plan to move out. Set a realistic date and discuss strategies for making this happen including job search, roommate search and budgeting.
Insist on rent with the clear explanation of how much, when it is due and late charges if there is habitual tardiness. Your graduate essentially becomes your tenant with a rental agreement. And even though this may sound harsh, it is an effective budgeting lesson for living independently away from home. When paying rent is not an option because the graduate is paying off debt or saving for an apartment, ask to see the payback plans and savings account to make sure this is really happening. Spending frivolously because parents are taking care of the bills is not an option when living at home after graduation.
Agree on a realistic contribution towards food and utilities so that the graduate has a sense of his own financial footprints. This will be an invaluable lesson when the graduate is on his own trying to balance income and expenses. If money is short, agree on a chore list to make up the shortfall.
Set up house rules because this is your home and not their college dorm. Rules should be taken seriously with real consequences so that everyone understands that co-existing means compromise. Rules maybe around issues such as loud music, curfews, friends hanging out, eating up the refrigerator, using the car and replacing gas, alcohol, smoking and drug use and helping out around the house. Most college graduates are eager to experience independent living. They would rather not be living at home after graduation. However, when it’s inevitable due to financial and job constraints, try to make it a positive learning experience for the emerging young adult and time limited for the emerging empty-nester parents.
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