Back to School :
Organizing Your
Blended Family

Back to School is looming for kids all over the country. As soon as we parents notice the deluge of Back to School TV ads and fliers from Wal-Mart and Staples, we know it’s time to pay attention to the undeniable fact that summer is over. Parents and kids have to turn away from the relaxed vacation schedule of casual mealtimes, irregular bed times and sleeping late to an organized routine that will make the return to school less stressful for everyone.

Wal-Mart takes care of the clothing and sneakers and Staples makes it easy to stock up on the supplies on the teacher’s list. At www.blended-families.com we would like to help blended families get organized in every other way so the return to school will be smooth and trouble-free for kids and their parents.

1. Easing into the Bedtime Routine for the School Year

During the summer, many kids enjoy a more relaxed mealtimes and bedtimes and it’s often a challenge to get the kids back on the school schedule, which tends to have an early start.. The sooner you introduce the school routine, the better; leaving it until a night or two before the start of school will result in chaos and frustration and grumpy kids.

a. About two weeks before school starts, introduce the mealtime/bedtime/wake up time that needs to be in place for the school year. Review the bus or car pool schedule and figure out how much time you need to allow each kid to get ready in the morning. Set the wake up time according to the pick up time.

b. Give each kid an alarm clock so they can become used to getting themselves up in the morning. Even the youngest kid can be trained to wake up to an alarm and to get out of bed when the buzzer/music goes off. If kids have a hard time getting up, make bedtime 15 minutes earlier until their bedtime matches their ability to get up in the morning.

c. If the regular dinnertime has shifted later during the summer, introduce the school year dinnertime that helps kids transition into a routine that is structured for homework, free time and quiet time before bed.

And remember to set your own healthy bedtime because parents set the tone for the morning charge….if you are grumpy and disorganized, then so are the kids. Allow yourself 15 minutes to have your coffee if that’s what helps you prepare for the morning rush hour.

2. Organizing to Avoid Morning Chaos

Very few kids and not many adults function at their best in the morning so why overload everyone with decisions and tasks that can be taken care of the night before? Morning stress can be reduced by establishing a pre bedtime routine of preparing for the next day. And we know the less kids have to worry about in the morning the happier they’re going to be getting on the school bus.

a. Kids often come up with good ideas for making things simple, so ask them how they can improve their morning routine. The more involved they are in the process, the more likely they will be to carry it through.

b. Many decisions and tasks can be completed the night before including, laying out clothes, packing lunches and snacks, packing gym clothes or ballet gear, and deciding on breakfast and laying out the cups, bowls and cereal. Paperwork can be completed and placed in the backpacks. The last thing before the good night kiss is to make sure the backpack at the door ready to go, with gym clothes or any other gear needed for the next day. It will take time to put this routine into action, but it will pay off with less stress in the morning.

3. Simplifying Transitioning

Back to school means back to the regular transitioning schedule and kids who are living in two homes need to be super organized about clothing, schoolbooks, sports gear and everything else they need for school, home and extra curricula activities.

a. One of the most effective ways of helping kids and their co parents stay organized is a communal calendar at each house. Parents can share the entire schedule and contact list, with everyone in the loop re: vacation days, parent teacher conferences, doctor and dentist appointments, after school care, field trips, holiday concerts, and band practice etc. For the technology smart families, the Google calendar is a free and easy way to stay current with your kids’ schedule. Go to www.googlecalendar.com for more information about helping your family stay organized.

b. At the beginning of school, every kid comes home with a boatload of paperwork that needs to be completed and signed, including permission slips, field trip information, contact information, teacher contacts, and school and sports supply lists. Designate a basket, tray or grocery sack where your child can drop all the papers for your attention. Sign and return all papers to the backpack the night before, and if needed, make a copy of any relevant information for the co parent. It’s useful for each parent to have a master list of all important contact names and numbers along with the master schedule. This reduces the chances of slip-ups due to miscommunication or inability to contact a person of importance in your child’s life.

c. Color code bags and backpacks for the various activities. There’s nothing more annoying than your child not being able to do a fun activity because he or she picked up the wrong bag or forgot it altogether. Ballet outfits can go in the pink bag, sports gear in the blue bag, and overnight clothes for co parent’s home in the red bag. Organizing by color helps young kids have some control over their stuff and helps everyone stay organized.

4. Back to School Family Meeting

A great way to launch the upcoming school year is to schedule a family meeting when everyone can connect and have a conversation about what they are anticipating about going back to school and what the expectations are for them and for you. There may be some anxiety, stress and uncertainty about going back to school; some kids may be starting a new school, others may be nervous about their teacher or classes, and others may just hate the thought of going back. A family meeting can relieve some of the stress and provide a useful forum for setting guidelines about the coming school year. The tradition of a weekly family meeting ensures the promise that each week everyone will have the opportunity to voice concerns and problems and make changes as needed.

a. Set an agenda and review each child’s thoughts and feelings about the coming school year, addressing any specific fears or concerns. Explain your expectations as a parent and ask each child to share his expectations for himself. If there is high anxiety about a new school situation, take the child to visit the school ahead of the start date.

b. Discuss expectations in terms of grades, in-school behavior, and consequences for not completing homework or failing tests. Discuss issues such as bedtime routines, curfews, TV and computer time, chores, and house rules.

c. Discuss any transitioning issues that need to be clarified and ensure each child is aware of the transitioning schedule on the calendar, how to read it and how to alert everyone to changes.

The more organized a parent is, the more confident and secure a child feels about going to school and focusing on learning. Kids in blended families have additional challenges and need extra support to stay organized so they can be productive and successful in school. If you have any useful tips that work for your kids going back to school, please share them with our blended families. We can all help each other make the school year run smoothly for all our parents and kids.

For additional support with back to school issues or setting up a family meeting, contact one of our expert coaches at www.blended-families.com